This week, a group of people testified at various public meetings in opposition to the COVID-19 vaccine, but one group stood out: those who believe that the vaccine has magnetized them. This hasn’t made them super-human, they can’t walk into a bank and have a pile of change come flying at them and they were still able to get out of their cars to attend the meeting. Still, an earnest woman wanted to know why a key was sticking to her chest. She had issues getting it to stick anywhere else, however.
“Um, sure, I can explain what this is,” Oliver volunteered. “Very basically, public education is horribly underfunded and scientific literacy is nowhere near what it should be in this country. It creates a vacuum of trust in legitimate research. Meanwhile, people tend to try and seek out the minimum amount of information that lets them keep believing what they already believe. In your case, that you’re privy to secret knowledge about a government conspiracy to magnetize the people of Ohio. All of that is probably why you felt confident enough to trust some bullsh*t you read online so much that you’re willing to look like a complete assh*le in front of all of those people.” Indeed, the world.
“Oh,” he continued. “And if you just meant the key thing, people are sometimes sticky. We’re all kind of moist and gross and keys stick to us sometimes.”
That might explain why the key stuck to her chest but not her neck.
See the video explanation below:
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